Boundaries: The saviour of parents throughout the world. A way of teaching children the rules of society, right from wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. A way to make sure they learn to keep themselves safe. Right? Not always. I am someone who had always considered good boundaries as a stabilising force in … Continue reading False Boundaries
During Stage 1 of the adoption process we were asked to create what was called an "Eco-map" to represent the family, friends and co-workers who we thought made up the network of people who would support us during the approval process and after we adopted our child/children. When we were thinking about who to put … Continue reading Support Networks
It's a question I always make a point of asking my Eldest son after he has spent a day at nursery. I have always asked it, I even tried some of the more specific questions about who he liked playing with today, or what the best thing he did today was, but the most detailed … Continue reading What Did You Do Today?
My definition of amazing is probably not the same as other people's. Not in relation to my children anyway. Since Christmas something has been changing in Eldest. It has happened gradually, almost unnoticed. He is playing on his own. Imaginatively, and creatively. This is something children do every day, but not my Eldest. This is … Continue reading Something Amazing has Happened
Sometimes we concentrate too much on the negatives, some call this pessimism, others realism. We shout when we want to change something, but stay silent when things are good. It is seen everywhere including with adopters. I am guilty of this. I have written many posts detailing the bad time we had during our matching … Continue reading Where’s the Positivity?
No, unfortunately this isn't a story about four toddlers rampaging through the city with exploits about their love lives and careers. We only have two of them after all and clearly they're not old enough to have careers yet (or love lives for that matter). We did, however, recently take our two boys into central London … Continue reading Toddlers in the City
There is always a question that parents dread their children asking. You like to think you have prepared yourself to give an age appropriate answer, but they always manage to add a follow up you aren't prepared for. Our question isn't the usual one, it is one which most non-adoptive parents would never have to … Continue reading THAT Question – Adoption Style
For many of us Christmas is a time of joy, a time for family, a time for giving and a time of unity. For others of us it is a time of stress, a time of emotional dysregulation and a time of disruption. As adopters we become parents of children who often come from an … Continue reading Christmas – Take 2
Children, especially younger ones, tend to be literal creatures. With little experience of social convention they say things as they see them, whether that may be offensive to someone or not. It usually leads to hilarious moments, followed by a red-faced parent apologising for the socially unacceptable thing your child has just said. Children also … Continue reading Out With Dads
This year will be our second Christmas with our boys but it'll be our eldest son's 4th and our youngest's 3rd in their lifetimes. I don't think we really appreciated how big a deal a stable Christmas with the extended family and lots of presents was until last year. It was something both my partner … Continue reading The Christmas Quandary